What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why is it common for guys to sleep with 10-20 women then marry a good girl?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What was your biggest culture shock going to Europe?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

To a flat Earther, what's wrong with the idea that gravity is simply a force inherent to space which operates only in one dimension? Why do they go further and try to deny gravity rather than just saying it's different than physicists claim?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How do I build rapport with anybody?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What is your opinion? I am 150-152 and I feel short. I’m 15 years old. I feel like this makes me look like a baby and ugly on most clothes.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

As a NATO/Ukraine supporter, since you're so blown away and angered by Trump putting Zelensky in his place yesterday, why don't you support the Ukraine by joining the Ukrainian army? There's 200,000,000+ of you. Put your money where your mouths are.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do British people always write "xxx" after their names?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.